an-luchdaich / overload

how did I get to this place ?

this undetermined stop. inside the garden       

of the walled indifference

of me. do i stop in recognition of these silent   

shadowed spaces. do they perceive me,

at my weakest point. do they hear

the static overload. the voices that push 

& press, all the buttons all at once.

the pressure to address,

the irritation in my mind. that is pulled 

to the point of overload. are they

the silent witness to the thoughts 

that live past rescued reason. 

the shapes that watch & follow.

that walk, stalking beyond the cracks.

pulling me over the unseamed edge.

inside the well worn ridges of my

descending mind[set] in its oblique 

groove overture. 

©kbain2020

ath-ìomhaigh / reflection

and you would miss — me

because without — me, the world

would be so dark ?

But the world is dark, this world has

always been dark to me

and I’ve been

trying to hold,

to make a difference,

any difference.

to share some light,

the flame i borrowed.

and for the first time

i feel fragile, and i have been

broken, ground down before

i am unsure —what is to come

we are powerless in all of this,

i have messed up

so much along the way,

and now we’re here,

staring into the dark

and there’s only my own reflection,

only my own shadow hanging

over me, only the voices reverberating,

on and on back to me,

only the past come looking for me.

this is a hollow world, i don’t recognise

this place.

why can’t i go home?

©kbain2020.