an-luchdaich / overload

how did I get to this place ?

this undetermined stop. inside the garden       

of the walled indifference

of me. do i stop in recognition of these silent   

shadowed spaces. do they perceive me,

at my weakest point. do they hear

the static overload. the voices that push 

& press, all the buttons all at once.

the pressure to address,

the irritation in my mind. that is pulled 

to the point of overload. are they

the silent witness to the thoughts 

that live past rescued reason. 

the shapes that watch & follow.

that walk, stalking beyond the cracks.

pulling me over the unseamed edge.

inside the well worn ridges of my

descending mind[set] in its oblique 

groove overture. 

©fbain2020

ath-ìomhaigh / reflection

and you would miss — me

because without — me, the world

would be so dark ?

But the world is dark, this world has

always been dark to me

and I’ve been

trying to hold,

to make a difference,

to share some light,

the flame i borrowed.

and for the first time

i feel fragile, and i have been

broken, ground down before

i am unsure —what is to come

we are powerless in all of this,

and now we’re here,

staring into the dark

and there’s only my own reflection,

only my own shadow hanging

over me, only the voices reverberating,

on and on back to me,

only the past come looking for me.

this is a hollow world, i don’t recognise

this place.

why can’t i go home?

©fbain2020.

The First Day…

Because madness is a lie too. Like night. Like death.

— Alejandra Pizarnik

Hello… I decided to start a new blog. Blank page. Fresh start…

Planning to post my writing here & poetry as I go. Aiming to submit more of my writing this year in hopes to have more published. Currently I am designing a website for my work & will launch my first poetry book from there. I will link the website here once I’ve bashed the site into shape a bit more!

My mental health has not been good for waay over a year and I have struggled with me & with mental illness and life has been hard & I’m trying to get back into this whole writing thing. I will get there!

I have missed writing sooo much & I have missed being more present, & following more of all the wonderful writing on here. This is the first post on this new page ! I really hope to see familiar faces, hoping you will all follow. Stay tuned for my poetry… And perhaps a few excerpts from a book I’m writing! (a novel) — TY — kbain

Subscribe below or press the follow button to be notified on updates, & new poetry! This will be my only blog page from now on!